Confess Your Chocolate Sins by Janice Taylor, Self-Help / Weight Loss Artist

Dear Our Lady of Weight Loss ~

Forgive me for I have sinned.

I fear that I have sunken down to a new all-time weigh-in low. I was going to my group meeting – wherein we weigh-in – and to ensure the lowest possible number, I painstakingly assembled the appropriate weigh-in outfit.

I rolled up all my shorts, tops, bras and under pants, and I weighed them, one by one, on my food scale.

Just so you know, thong under pants weigh an entire ounce less than thunder pants.

Signed ~ Thunder Pants to Under Pants

Dear Thunder Pants,

All Is Forgiven, Move On ~ Our Lady of Weight Loss

Confess, right now, here on these pages, receive forgiveness from Our Lady of Weight Loss, the patron saint of permanent fat removal and then, Move On!